My journal
scribblings...
Victoria
is not my direct ancestor...she is in my husband's lineage, by marriage.
Yet when I recently learned of the circumstances of her death I was
shaken.
At 26, the
same monster grabbed me. I remember the pain, the morphine, the
tubes, the smells, the surgery, the slowness of time, the sounds around
me, my family's fears.
My family
was told I was near death, and to prepare themselves. They were
devastated but showed a quiet strength when with me. No one told
me that I was near death. I knew I had stumbled upon it
unexpectedly, but it was like being next to a door that I never opened.
I merely gazed through the window of that door and chose to fight for
life...here...with my family...my children.
Did I
bargain with God? Not really. But I crystallized my future
as full of kindness, generosity, love and a deep and endearing
thankfulness to God and Jesus.
I am still
working on fulfilling this aspiration.
I am
grateful for every day.
I am so
sorry that Victoria suffered at death. She died in the 1950s.
I survived in the 1970s. I would have liked to have met her and to
be with her through her ordeal. Perhaps she was with me through
mine. That would have been nice.
Blessings, Donna
